Just Something I've Been Meaning To Do.

I've consistently had a beard since the summer after my Junior year of High School.

I've been clean-shaven twice since then, both times

over a year ago.

My girlfriend would have been furious, but she's gone now so

Why not? I hear they grow back.

(Thanks to Simon for the before-and-after shots)

Also, I look quite a bit older than I am when I have a beard.

That was the coolest of cool when I was a High School Senior,

But maybe it's time to just look my age for a change.

19, I like you just fine.

I'm trying to be a more honest, open, sincere,

trustworthy, responsible person,

So maybe this is symbolic of that in some stupid way.

I want you to see my face.

Also, I get attached to things easily. I'm cautious and I resist change.

It'd be nice to be different, but sometimes all you can do is accept

That you'll probably never cut your hair short on a whim,

Or move out of your memory-filled,

month-to-month apartment just for fun,

Or kiss someone and say it's just a fling,

It's not serious or meaningful;

In the absence of that, you rejoice in little victories,

You write a new song on a new instrument

That adds depth and texture to the thickly-stained body of memories

In your apartment

And you shave your beard all the way off.

Blue Horizon: On the border of Sexuality, Violence, and Artistry

I've been keeping this one mostly to myself for a while (that said, the readership of this blog contains 100% of the people I've showed the song to thus far). I heard the damn thing about 2 months ago and it's been filling up the semi-periphery of my consciousness ever since.

I decided to write a creative essay about the song, and it's become one of those projects that spirals out into something that feels important to me, something I would have been probably written whether I was assigned to or not. I am so grateful for Andy Hoffmann, one of my favorite professors at the U, who let me write a long-form poem/essay instead of a weighty, academic rhetorical analysis simply because he could tell I was passionate about it.

As much as I do have passion for it, and as happy as I am to have written it, I think at the state it's in I consider it to be a failed essay. Lofty aspirations, which remain unmet. So I'm posting it here, and I've given it to some writer friends, with the hope that I can get some really harsh, constructive critique that will help me help it to find its own potential greatness. I'm pretty sure it's in there somewhere.

So, if you're bored/have time to help me out, The essay is here, 

and this is the song:

Suggestion: Maybe read the introduction to the essay (everything before the poem), then listen to the song, then read the poem. Or not. Essentially, they need to be considered together, but the song can't just be background music to the poem. 

Thanks!

Love,

Luke